to my beloved Opa in heaven.

today is October 18th.

it supposed to be your 86th birthday.

but you've been gone since last April.

even though you're not here with us anymore, i just want you to know that i still love you as much as i love you before because you're the only grandpa i know when i was born.

and since today is supposed to be your birthday, it feels really different cause you're not here anymore and i miss you so much.

we used to celebrate it together but now we can't do it anymore.

all that happens in the past 18 years will now be a memory that i'll cherish forever.

happy 86th birthday Opa.

i hope you're fine there and will always be fine there until all of us can meet again in heaven, someday.

i love you and i miss you.

in loving memory of our beloved Opa in heaven,

Juwana Setiawan

(October 18th 1925 - April 12th 2011)

the beautiful 7.

so far, July, has been my favorite month of the year. it brings lots of great memories to share. and here i am, sharing the story of it, not in a particular order, on the very last day of July. 

in July, i managed to meet all my junior high best friends, whether it arranged or accidentally. the fact that i miss them so much making this opportunity really great. even though we met for a very short time, but it's enough to make us remember of the moments that we used to share together.

i also met one of my childhood best friend. we were really close before. we used to go to english, ballet, and swimming course together. but as time goes by, we're not that close anymore because we never be in the same class at school. we also have different friends. the fact that i almost lost contact with her for years makes me a little bit sad, but it's really nice meeting her again.

i had my birthday this month, which makes this month even more special. it's 19, the very last year of my 10s. i feel like i get matured each and every year. this birthday feels really special. i received so much love from my family, my best friends, my friends. even got a little surprise that i promised but post it here but i haven't -_- but what makes me a little bit sad is the fact that it's my first birthday without Opa. he passed away last April... it feels different :\

i also went to Dufan with my precious Tangga and TeTangga this month. it was lots of fun. you can read my post about it here but i wrote it in Indonesian :)

July also marked the 100th days after Opa's death. we spent it by visiting his ashes on the sea. i miss him so much :')

in Kpop world, there also lots of great songs released in July: One More Chance - Dana&Sunday, Good Bye Baby - miss A, In the Night Sky - After School RED, Hate You - 2NE1. and we also have Super Junior comeback teasers all-over the week. it's great, right?

July brings lots of memories. and i bet the first week of August will be a blast too. starting from tomorrow, i'll be on vacation to Bali with my best friends. i hope this trip will be as fun as we planned it :)

see you next year, July. thanks for giving me the best times of my life this year :)

dear my beloved ilkom G,

thank you for the tremendous and amazing year together. there are lots of memories that we have together. i'm surely gonna miss everyone. i ♥ you all :)

dear number 2,

HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY
ILONA SACHARISSA!

wish you all the very best and i hope that you'll love k-pop even more ;p

you're my one and only sister and you're the best. i love you from the bottom of my heart. hug and kisses :*

from your sister,
xoxo.

letter to J.

dear Opa,

how are you? it's been a month since you're very last day with us and sometimes i still can't believe that you're gone already. we're fine here and we're moving on. but one thing for sure, we miss you. too much.

there's really a lot that i wanna say to you, i wanna share with you. i wanna thank you so much for being here together with us. thank you for being a really great grandpa for almost 19 years in my life. thank you for always bringing all of us together. thank you for teaching me everything. thank you for everything.

19 years. it's really a lot. many of my friends didn't have that opportunity to know their grandpa for that long. but i was and i'm grateful for that. there's lots of memories that we spent together. and i know, we will never ever able to forget that.

you were there when the first time i came to this world, 19 years ago. you were there when i celebrated my 1st birthday. you were there when i went to school for the 1st time. you were there when i graduated from elementary school, junior high school, senior high school. you were there when i was 17. you were there last christmas, last new year, last chinese new year.

one thing that i always remember that you are the only one that keep encouraging me to learn mandarin. even though i refused that a lot, but you always said that it's going to be useful someday. i realized that now, Opa. i promise that i'll learn mandarin before it's too late and i promise that i'll make you proud.

i miss you, Opa. but i know that we'll meet again, someday :')

in memory of our beloved Opa, Juwana Setiawan
(18 October 1925 - 12 April 2011)